| Chapter By StoryTime Theatre Saturday, November 24, 2000 at 07:31:36 |
The English countryside offers many delights for the senses: flowers and trees, fragrant and most beautiful. But deep within, also lies the moors: dark, dank and forbidding, a boggy area dominated by lusterless grasses and deep smelly peat. Hawk Hill sits in just such a place. It sounds funny, that such a regal sounding hill could be located in such a lousy place as the moors, but it's just a tiny hill and it was named after a tiny man called Mr. Hawk. Hawk wasn't just physically tiny. He also had a tiny mentality; most rude, he was. |
| Chapter By Drooley Wednesday, December 27, 2000 at 14:22:15 |
Betsy Hawk, obviously is old man Hawk's broad. She's big and fat for a tiny person and ugly too. Yes, she cleans all day and cooks too but what else is there to do when you live in a peaty mossy kind of town? As for Elsa Marble, she's an old time movie queen who starred on the silent screen. She's the type who doesn't think her poop stinks, you know what I mean? Everyone hates her - she wears gobs and gobs of purple makeup! Yikes! Jezebel Shoofly and Jedadiah Shoofly, both are florists, husband and wife. They don't talk to each other anymore because they hate how they sound. Godfrey Grimble? Why, he's a very gay TV anchorman who no longer has a job because he once showed up at the station in drag and pissed off the owners, especially since he came with his three boyfriends, also in drag. Well, these other people have a story too - but frankly, I'm not going to tell you about them just yet. But, I'll be back. You can be sure of that or my name ain't Drooley Julie the Third! |
| Chapter By Ozman Tuesday, January 16, 2001 at 20:10:53 |
Anyway, In this tiny house full ofcross-dressing fat, crazy madmen, lived a small old wrinkly man called Bert Feingly. He hated everything. Rats cats, dogs, cows, mice, people, people who hate mice,EVERYTHING. The one thing he hated more than anything in the world was Roberto Guiseppe Quintano. Each morning as they both woke up they had a new plot for making each other's lives miserable. Roberto would steal Bert's toothbrush and Bert would steal Roberto. Roberto would steal Bert's middle name so Bert changed Roberto's to 'Cheese' One morning things got so bad that grumpy old rude Mr Hawk came downstairs and shaved them bald. Anyhow, on October 23 that year, something strange happened. Mr Hawk dissappeared! |
| Chapter By ozman Tuesday, January 16, 2001 at 22:19:53 |
Betsy and the rest of them were overjoyed. They all put in some money and flew over to New York. Each one of them bought Mansions in Beverly hills, and had huge hollywood careers but one by one they all had a haunting feeling that they should still be at Hawk Hill. After a few years of riches and happiness, A horrible strange thing started happening. Each month, one of them would just drop off dead. No one knew why or how, they just...died. After a while, The only ones left were Bert and Roberto. They argued for ages over what to do, but eventually Roberto ate Bert's cat and Bert took Roberto back to Hawk Hill |
| Chapter By Drooley Monday, February 5, 2001 at 17:49:49 |
So Bert and Roberto started setting up house back at Hawk Hill. They felt so odd being there all alone, just the two of them. It's was so dark and dank...scary it was. Even the moon refused to shine on Hawk Hill. Then one cold rainy night they started hearing strange noises. "Oh, my God", thought Roberto, "I bet it's old man Hawk come back to haunt us." "You idiot", said Bert, "if anyone is going to haunt us it would be that fat pig Betsy....or it could be Elsa Marble, or maybe Jezebel Shoofly, or Jedadiah Shoofly, or perhaps it's Godfrey Grimble, maybe it's Ezra Quandry; it could be Rebecca Willoughby, but I bet it's Carlton Carruthers. Hey, Roberto - are you sure it isn't you?" Roberto Guisseppe Quintano had all he could take of Bert's stupidity so he hit him in the head with the only thing in the room - a candlestick. The trouble is, the candlestick came right back at him and now both Roberto and Bert lay there on the floor, knocked cold as the dark, dank moors themselves! Then, in through an open window, flew a really ugly bat, the size of a small dog. And, it landed right on Bert's head. |
| Chapter By Drooley Julie Monday, February 5, 2001 at 19:37:46 |
The bat sat there looking at Bert, then he'd look over to Roberto and back and forth this went for some time. The bat then spit at Roberto and gave poor Bert a peck on the neck. He pecked and pecked and finally sucked a little blood which it then spit at Roberto. Both of the men had flecks of blood all over their faces and when they awoke they screamed bloody murder. The bat was long gone so all they could suppose was that each had bloodied the other one up. Lucky for them it was just an ordinary ugly bat and not a vampire otherwise this story could take a turn for the worse. Still, there was Roberto and Bert looking pretty stupid at one another until they got into a fist fight. They fought so hard they tumbled right out the front door into the peaty ground. Suddenly Roberto started sinking..... and sinking....and sinking until half his body was under the mucky peat. Bert thought long and hard about what to do. Should he leave him there? Well if he did that, there'd be no one to talk to; on the other hand, Roberto was a big pain in the neck. Bert opted to help the old fool and so he dug feverishly until he pulled out the bloke and threw him a towel. Now from inside the house came another sound - very weird - as if someone were being strangled. They ran in opposite directions around the house in fright then came back around the front again where they knocked heads and each fell flat onto the cold peaty ground just outside the front door. But this time, no one sank in. And that's because it had just turned midnight when all the peat in the moors froze solid until next morning. They were saved - except they too started to freeze. |
| Chapter By booboo Saturday, February 24, 2001 at 19:16:59 |
this is a true store of my life. Boo |
| Chapter By Andrew from IA Thursday, March 1, 2001 at 19:00:48 |
Anyway, the two of them were about to die from hypothermia when that fat bat came back for round two. The bat started to beat Roberto and Bert up, even worse than before. But the bat accidentally crushed Roberto’s twig and berries. Up he jumped, with frozen hair sticking out of his nose. Shivering severely, he realized they were in trouble. He grabbed a huge branch nearby, swung at that bat, and shot him out of site. He dragged Bert into the house again, and then passed out from exhaustion. Early the next morning, they both woke up, and at first, Bert was steamed, because he thought that Roberto beat him up. But after several hours of explaining, Bert finally understood what happened, and although wasn’t sure he should trust Roberto, he decided he should, since they are the only two left on Hawk’s Hill. |
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